Hello .... ... hello?  Are you back?  Because we'd like to arrange a time to deliver this registered parcel from somewhere in Switzerland.  We're not exactly sure what it is - but it's ticking and occasionally says 'cuckoo'.  The return address is 'Mad Englishwoman, Switzerland'.  Please give us a call on 01234 567890/

14.7.05 15:00 Permalink / 8 Comments / comment

Alreight Norah, hope you're okay and 'aving a reight good time in 'urp. Nowt much has 'appened round 'ere. Her who dun't like skiing is back though. And that Million Piece whats his name is back too. I've made you some mashed spud and purrit in't fridge for when y'get back. Seeyas cocka. *click*

10.7.05 17:08 Permalink / 11 Comments / comment

Hellooo .... .. is that the lady of the house? I'm going to ask you one question.  If YOU could change any NUMBER of doors or windows in your house, ABSOLUTELY FREE, how many would YOU change? . . . Hello?  Anyone there? Hellooooooooooo?? *click*

5.7.05 15:04 Permalink / 2 Comments / comment

Beeep... ...I'd like a large cat and a frapaccino to go please...er, hello?  HELLO? Helllllllooooooo? Is this thing on? God, I hate machines, so impersonal and you always feel like such a dick...anyway, assuming this is on *taps phone*...I mean is it on?  How can you tell? ... What I meant to say was... er um, yeah what I wanted to say was...Its sunny here, and I have a BBQ.  So ha.  Ha ha ha hBEEEEEEP.....

1.7.05 15:05 Permalink / 3 Comments / comment

I wish... ...I was in Yurp, too.   'Lad.

28.6.05 16:21 Permalink / 2 Comments / comment

no sunburn. Do you think I should have told her before she came over that Easter week in Portugal is always wet and rainy? Nahhhh.

2.4.05 19:37 Permalink / 3 Comments / comment

Hi, just a message to let you know that you're still on for drinks with the Pope next week. All that stuff about him being in a coma was just some April Fool's fun from The Vatican. He asked that you bring 'The Tickler'. Bye.

1.4.05 17:23 Permalink / 7 Comments / comment

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